My first show of the year and to
be honest, even though it’s only February, I know it will be one of the one's I remember
most. The concept for Empty Nesters
Clubs is not a new one, well, not new to the US, Australia and, funnily enough,
South Korea, but for the UK we have yet to embrace the notion of sharing feelings
when our children finally leave home.
Empty Nesters Clubs are meeting
points for parents who suddenly find their once full and noisy homes (and
lives) become bereft of chaos, forcing them to finally stop hiding behind the ‘doing
it for the kids’ and take a long hard look at what they’ve become.
John Godber is the master of
taking an everyday life event which many can relate to and peeling back the
layers to expose the humour, fear, insecurities, prejudices and love upon which
our lives are built. For this play,
which is in its early stages of a 4 month tour, John takes a couple, Vicky and
Phil, and their daughter Millie through the process of her leaving home and
moving to university. Set with only an
IKEA table (other brands are available) and some shelving units, the focus
remains firmly on the characters, the stage lights seeking only to illuminate
the reality of a couple who slowly realise that they lost their own identities years
ago and now feel only defined by being Millie’s parents. Millie, on the other hand, seems oblivious to
it all (as you would expect and hope an 18 year old should be), not realising
the impact of a flippant change of mind or the total obsession of getting a
bass riff right.
Whilst Vicky and her drive to
reinvent herself through creating the Empty Nesters Club drives this story, for
me it was Phil’s progression from doting dad, taxi man, fixer, dog walker,
music muse and political enabler that really hit home. In almost every scene you could see him lose
a little more purpose forcing him to question “Is this all there is now”. Searching for a substitute for his time and a
focus for him to keep getting up in the morning, Phil takes up Kung Foo,
cycling and protracted dog walking, all singular pursuits, in an effort to fill
the void and counter his feared journey towards invisibility (echoing
completely my own current situation as my eldest started uni in January and my
youngest heads off in September).
The relationship between Vicky
and Phil is undoubtedly a strong one but it’s not until Millie leaves that they
realise the glue that stuck it firmly together was their shared investment into
Millie’s future, and now that that is no longer needed do they really have
anything else in common ‘cept for time spent. Millie, on the other hand, questions that, at
only 18, is it really possible for a young adult to fully know what they want
to do, yet the expectation is they will make such a choice and have little
option to change it. Likewise, as seen
in some of her poems, she is more astutely aware of the impact her leaving has
had on her parents lives than they might believe, something which parents in general
often miss as we still see them as our little children.
The script is tight, at times
claustrophobic as anyone who’s been alone in a large family house when it’s
quiet will recognise just how small the rooms feel when you’re hemmed in by the
walls of your own mind. The diverging
paths of Vicky and Phil strain any remaining bonds they have with Vicky seeking
her own personal reinvention (tattoos, charity bike rides, spritzers for lunch)
while Phil battles to find any way to cling to the past.
If you have had children leave
home then this will ring so very true – we stayed behind afterwards to talk to Mr
Godber and the cast; the audience seemed to be quite firmly split into 2 camps –
those who saw their children leaving as a reason for celebration and those who
felt the loss somewhat akin to bereavement, made only harder as you still seek
the daily contact which was ever present whilst the children live at home. If
you, like me, are nearing the time to say goodbye then this play is an ideal precursor
to the emotions you are going to face - go see it, class it as entertainment,
insight, research, therapy – but above all else, enjoy!
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